Letting Go of Fear!

Since April, Randy and I have really had some roughs days, and in some cases, weekends.  Emmy had her ups and downs, her right arm seems to be dancing all over the place and her right leg won't walk when on the walker.  She can move it, but it has a mind of its own. Even Ella was saying, "When is her next MRI?"  Well, that day finally came, and while I have no idea if anything showed improvement, all we know is that it looks like the disease itself is DEAD!  Her brain, according to her very objective doctor, was stable and no new lesions. No lesions have appeared since November, so we are hopeful all bad antibodies are gone!!    The doctor and I send texts back and forth regularly, but he wouldn't elaborate on the MRI (Neuros are not good at giving hope and lifting of the spirits).  So, sometime this month we will meet with good ol' Dr. Toor and figure out a schedule to wean little Ms. Em off of prednisone!

BUT, Ella pointed out something so very true today.  We wait for these stupid MRIs with fear and trembling (remember, we are to only fear the Lord) and then she gets her MRI and we are all relieved that there is nothing new.  And so the fear is gone and Emersyn EXPLODES with motivation!  

Like this morning, I looked at the video monitor around 8:30am and saw her missing from her bed (Pre-curser to story: She is going to kill me later on in life for telling this but I think it is AWESOME).  I ran into the room to find her sitting buck-naked drawing a picture of ME in her notebook.  I quickly calculated everything and saw that she peed on the floor.  So I asked her why she didn't yell for me or squeeze her Build-A-Bear's paw to make him bark for me.  She proceeds to tell me that I told her to not make him bark... which I did say, but I also added to only bark for emergencies.  



So I ask her what happened and she told me she couldn't get my attention, so she peed, but proceeded to UNDRESS herself (Praise God) and then didn't want to wake me so she thought she would draw!!!  Oh, be still my heart, I LOVE this girl so much.  So I asked her if she wanted to get dressed and she said she would rather bathe!  So I put her on the toilet and she slid off and actually crawled into the bathtub like any regular kid would!  I, of course, steadied her body, but she climbed right over and sat up in the bath the whole time without falling over!!!  I seriously think FEAR is holding her back and nothing else.  

So we are back to diving head first into FAITH and making plans to do things that we haven't done in over a year!  If all is well in July, we will take our first drive up North to Maryland to visit our cousins (and maybe stop to see some sweet friends in DC). We thought for sure Emmy would be walking and playing by now, but that hasn't happened.  She is still crying to walk like everyone else, which breaks my heart.  But I know her.  I know her determination.  She will figure out a way to walk again and run, just like before.  And before you know it, she will be doing cartwheels across our lawn!  God has a plan and it is up to us to trust him and put our complete FAITH in HIM!  

"I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me" Phil 4:13